Prayer Meetings

Never Give up in any of your troubles or problems Get in control of  your emotions

Perhaps the most valuable growth of your Christianity will be knowing and understanding the power of fellowship with the Holy Spirit through others. We need to develop our intellect by asking questions. Many times Jesus probed, questioned, reasoned and sought answers, wherever there was something to be learned, to be done or to be changed. He never accepted the status quo. He always believed there was something more, an even greater revelation. He wanted men to be free in thought and to keep their mind always inquiring. It has been found honesty, frankness, a reaching of concern, a need to bare Christ and spiritual uplifting can for the most part be manifested more rapidly in small gatherings. Where we find most contented to anticipate in giving their views, reaching to try to understand others, making their desires known, searching for works to solidify Christ in. Reaching for friendship, fellowship and the lifting up of Christ in others. Thus I think we see the need, the importance of home gatherings. Old time prayer meetings was the backbone in the growth of the church. Many denominations of the church, in fact all of them. I imagine they have forgotten the fact or just ignore it in favor of quietment, stabilization and circular inter motion along with keeping a routine schedule. A lot of individual churches however are experiencing stagnation, decline in attendance and a complete stoppage of their work for Christ. It's time for someone to stand up and say I am having a prayer meeting at my home.

Welcome to emotions control, we are people helping people, we invite you to join our group (it’s free) Getting together in groups of 3 or more people brings the power of God in our mist.

 

Leaning On The Everlasting Arms (11KB)

Our group meets every week at the Christian Outreach Center at 1525 Poplar St. Portsmouth. If you can't make it, get involved with us connected with email. christianoutreachcenter@hotmail.com Believe me if you have troubles, help is on the way.

If you have any feedback that you would like to share, we have room on our web group site to pass it on to others. We are people helping people. If you stick with us you will find that your actions helps a lot of other people. And also gives you more help than you can believe. In the world to soon come we will need each others help.

INTRODUCTION

Emotions are those feelings that virtually everyone has, but yet few understand.  We'll focus on how emotions play a key role in the transformation of a person's life.       

The function of the cortex is to rationalize and to problem solve.  In a functional person, the cortex can control emotions if the emotions pass the threshold of consciousness into the realm of the conscious.  Many times, though, emotions will operate on a subconscious level and we will only be consciously aware of them by extreme situations that force us out of the habitual operation of the pons; or if we are in a state of consciousness or awareness that can override the cortex.  "During sleep, syncope, coma, psychotic episodes, and hypnotic trances, portions of the cerebral cortex can be made dormant, thus allowing the reptilian brain to become the predominant computer.

The way that we process visual, auditory and tactile experiences is the sensory input is relayed through the thalamus before it reaches the cortex.

This information is then sent to the cortical area specific for each sensory organ, where it is analyzed and connected with corresponding information from the other hemisphere of the cortex.  Once processed, that information is sent to the sensory areas, where it is integrated and interpreted.  Once there, these perceptions are modulated on the affective and emotional level by projections to the limbic cortex.

A primary function of emotions in the cortex helps us organize, store, and access information in the brain.

Recalled memory will be reconstructed using the brain preference for order and stability.  The memory will have a certain order to it and will generally be re-told in a way that subjectively makes sense to the individual.  Analogous to a computer hard drive, we retrieve the memory chunk of information, by accessing a particular emotional “directory” in a certain part of the brain.  Then the memory chunk is connected to one or several information chunks and the brain makes up the most logical story to connect the separate information chunks.  This means that the information is integrated into an existing subjective framework of reality. 

A Key to Controlling Emotions

One key to controlling your emotions is learning to control your thoughts. Negative thoughts can sap you of the energy you need to take action. (Proverbs 24:10) But how can you learn to think positively and thus be helped to control your emotions?

One way is to refuse to dwell on negative things that make you feel depressed or insecure. By following the Bible advice to focus on things that are "serious" and "righteous," you can replace negative thoughts with positive ones. (Philippians 4:8) Doing this may not be easy, but with effort it can be done.

Consider a young woman named Jasmine. "I feel so overwhelmed by all that I’m faced with," she once lamented. "New job, new responsibilities. My emotions are spent. I find it difficult to breathe." It is not surprising for a youth to feel that way on occasion, and it can cause one to feel insecure, unsure of oneself. The Bible tells us about a young man named Timothy, who was superbly qualified for the responsibilities he was given. Yet, it appears that he battled feelings of inadequacy.—1 Timothy 4:11-16; 2 Timothy 1:6, 7.

It may well be that you feel insecure when you are confronted with a new or unfamiliar task. ‘I’ll never be able to do this,’ you may tell yourself. But you can control such feelings of insecurity by refusing to dwell on negative thoughts. Focus on learning to do the task competently. Ask questions, and follow instructions.—Proverbs 1:5, 7.

One key to controlling your emotions is learning to control your thoughts

The more competent you become at a task, the less insecure you will feel. Do not dwell on your weaknesses, allowing them to paralyze you and prevent you from applying yourself to making improvement. One time when the apostle Paul was criticized, he replied: "Even if I am unskilled in speech, I certainly am not in knowledge." (2 Corinthians 10:10; 11:6) Similarly, you can build your confidence by acknowledging your strengths and turning to God for help to cope with your weaknesses. God really can help you, as he did people in the past.—Exodus 4:10.

Another way you can help to control your emotions is to set modest, realistic goals and accept your limitations. Also avoid unfairly comparing yourself with others. At Galatians 6:4, the Bible gives good advice when it says: "Let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person."

Other steps.

A popular exercise book says: "Countless studies have proven that how you move your body influences your mood through your biochemistry. Hormone and oxygen levels all change with the kind of movements you make." There is no question about it, physical exercise is beneficial. The Bible tells us: "Physical exercise has some value." (1 Timothy 4:8, Today’s English Version) Why not establish a modest routine of regular exercise? It can have a good effect on the way you feel. Maintaining a healthful diet can likewise bring benefits.

Consider, too, your choices of music and entertainment. A study published in The Harvard Mental Health Letter said: "Viewing violence . . . tends to stir angry and aggressive feelings. . . . People watching violent films thought more aggressive thoughts and showed a rise in blood pressure." So make wise decisions when it comes to what you listen to and watch.—Psalm 1:1-3; 1 Corinthians 15:33.

Ultimately, the best way to learn to control your emotions is to develop a close friendship with your Creator. He invites each of us to speak to him in prayer, to pour out our feelings and emotions. "Do not be anxious over anything," encouraged the apostle Paul. "Let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers." Yes, you can develop the inner strength to face any situation in life. The apostle Paul added: "For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me."—Philippians 4:6, 7, 13.

 

Expectations

 

Releasing Your Expectations

As we endeavor to find personal fulfillment and realize our individual ideals, we naturally form emotional attachments to those outcomes we hope will come to pass. These expectations can serve as a source of stability, allowing us to draft plans based on our visions of the future, but they can also limit our potential for happiness by blinding us to equally satisfying yet unexpected outcomes. Instead of taking pleasure in the surprising circumstances unfolding around us, we mourn for the anticipation left unfulfilled. When we think of letting go of our expectations, we may find ourselves at the mercy of a small inner voice that admonishes us to strive for specific goals, even if they continually elude us. However, the opposite of expectation is not pessimism. We can retain our optimism and free ourselves from the need to focus on specific probabilities by opening our hearts and minds to a wide variety of possible outcomes.

 

Emotions

 

What Are Emotions – Feelings?

Different people define emotions in different ways. Some make a distinction between emotions and feelings saying that a feeling is the response part of the emotion and that an emotion includes the situation or experience, the interpretation, the perception, and the response or feeling related to the experience of a particular situation. For the purposes of this article, I use the terms interchangeably.

John D. (Jack) Mayer says, "Emotions operate on many levels. They have a physical aspect as well as a psychological aspect. Emotions bridge thought, feeling, and action – they operate in every part of a person, they affect many aspects of a person, and the person affects many aspects of the emotions."

Dr. Maurice Elias says, "Emotions are human beings’ warning systems as to what is really going on around them. Emotions are our most reliable indicators of how things are going on in our lives. Emotions help keep us on the right track by making sure that we are led by more than the mental/ intellectual faculties of thought, perception, reason, memory

Slowing Down Anger

Managing anger can be another difficult challenge. Anger prompts many young ones to say and do things that are hurtful or destructive.

Granted, it is normal to feel anger at times. But remember the first murderer, Cain. When he became "hot with great anger," God warned him that such anger could lead to his committing serious sin. He asked Cain: "Will you, for your part, get the mastery over [sin]?" (Genesis 4:5-7) Cain failed to heed this divine advice, but with God’s help you can control your anger and avoid sinning!

Again it comes down to controlling your thoughts. At Proverbs 19:11, the Bible says: "The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger, and it is beauty on his part to pass over transgression." When someone upsets you, try to understand why he or she behaved that way. Was that person deliberately trying to hurt you? Could it be that he or she was acting impulsively or out of ignorance? Making allowances for the mistakes of others reflects God’s own mercy, and it can help slow down your feelings of anger.

What, though, if anger is justified? The Scriptures say: "Be wrathful, and yet do not sin." (Ephesians 4:26) If necessary, talk the matter out with the individual. (Matthew 5:23, 24) Or perhaps the best thing to do is simply to let the matter drop—let go of the anger and move on with your life.

Interestingly, your friends can have an influence on how you deal with anger. The Bible thus directs: "Do not have companionship with anyone given to anger; and with a man having fits of rage you must not enter in, that you may not get familiar with his paths and certainly take a snare for your soul."—Proverbs 22:24, 25.

Being around people who make an effort to control their anger can help you to develop self-control yourself. The Christian congregations are full of such mature individuals, many of whom are older and more experienced than you. Get to know some of them. Watch how they cope with problems. They may also be able to give you "skillful direction" when you face difficulties. (Proverbs 24:6) Jacob, quoted earlier, relates: "A mature friend who can remind me of God’s Word is priceless. When I remember that God loves me despite my insecurities, I’m able to feel in control and remain calm."

A Challenge for Youths

People of all ages and backgrounds struggle with controlling their emotions. However, the struggle can be particularly challenging during one’s transition from adolescence to adulthood. Says the book Changing Bodies, Changing Lives by Ruth Bell: "Most teenagers feel a jumble of crazy, beautiful, frightening, mixed-up emotions. A lot of people have several different feelings at the same time about the same things. . . . One minute you may feel a particular way, and then a minute later you may find yourself feeling the opposite way."

As a young person, you are also inexperienced. (Proverbs 1:4) So, as you encounter new situations and challenges for the first time, it is only natural to feel a bit insecure and perhaps overwhelmed. Fortunately, your Creator well understands your feelings. He knows even your "disquieting thoughts." (Psalm 139:23) In his Word he has set forth some principles that can help.

 

inproving

 

 

Overview of Improving Emotional Knowledge and Social Effectiveness

If emotional intelligence is an important emotional ability, can it be raised? Perhaps the smarter question is, “is it possible to learn about emotions, and if so, will it promote a better life?”

One of the key issues in this area is, first, to distinguish the scientific research from any journalistic accounts you may be familiar with. Unfortunately, such accounts initially greatly exaggerated the role of emotional intelligence in success in life. More recently, most journalists have acknowledged and clarified that such claims were in error or were due to misunderstandings.

Discussion about EI's significance can be found in some parts of the "Controversies" section of the site.

It is fair to ask, however, about raising emotional knowledge. This section outlines some of the differences between the scientific research and journalistic accounts, and provides a beginning examination of the issue of learning about emotions. To learn more, click on the associated topics (the narrative will appear beneath the menu).

 


 

physical abuse

 

What is physical abuse?

Physical abuse, which is 19% of all substantiated cases of child abuse, is the most visible form of abuse and may be defined as any act which results in a non-accidental trauma or physical injury. Inflicted physical injury most often represents unreasonable, severe corporal punishment or unjustifiable punishment. This usually happens when a frustrated or angry parent strikes, shakes or throws a child. Physical abuse injuries result from punching, beating, kicking, biting, burning or otherwise harming a child. While any of these injuries can occur accidentally when a child is at play, physical abuse should be suspected if the explanations do not fit the injury or if a pattern of frequency is apparent. The longer the abuse continues, the more serious the injuries to the child and the more difficult it is to eliminate the abusive behavior.

What is child neglect?

Child neglect, which is 63% of all substantiated cases of child abuse,   is the most common form of child maltreatment reported to child protective services. It is defined as a "type of maltreatment that refers to the failure to provide needed age-appropriate care," such as shelter, food, clothing, education, supervision, medical care and other basic necessities needed for development of physical, intellectual and emotional capacities. Unlike physical and sexual abuse, neglect is usually typified by an ongoing pattern of inadequate care and is readily observed by individuals in close contact with the child. Physicians, nurses, day care personnel, relatives and neighbors are frequently the ones to suspect and report neglected infants, toddlers and preschool children.

The types of neglect:

Physical neglect -- accounts for the majority of cases of maltreatment. The definition includes the refusal of or extreme delay in seeking necessary health care, child abandonment, inadequate supervision, rejection of a child leading to expulsion from the home, and failing to adequately provide for the child's safety and physical and emotional needs. Physical neglect can severely impact a child's development by causing failure to thrive, malnutrition; serious illnesses; physical harm in the form of cuts, bruises and burns due to lack of supervision and a lifetime of low self-esteem.

Educational neglect -- occurs when a child is allowed to engage in chronic truancy, is of mandatory school age but not enrolled in school or receiving needed special educational training. Educational neglect can lead to underachievement in acquiring necessary basic skills, dropping out of school and/or continually disruptive behavior.

Emotional neglect -- includes such actions as chronic or extreme spousal abuse in the child's presence, allowing a child to use drugs or alcohol, refusal or failure to provide needed psychological care, constant belittling and withholding of affection. This pattern of behavior can lead to poor self-image, alcohol or drug abuse, destructive behavior and even suicide. Severe neglect of infants can result in the infant failing to grow and thrive and may even lead to infant death.

Medical neglect -- is the failure to provide appropriate health care for a child although financially able to do so. In some cases, a parent or caretaker will withhold traditional medical care during the practice of religious beliefs. These cases generally do not fall under the definition of medical neglect, however, some states will obtain a court order forcing medical treatment of a child in order to save a child's life or prevent life-threatening injury resulting from the lack of treatment. Medical neglect can result in poor overall health and compounded medical problems.

What is sexual abuse?

It is very difficult for most people to talk about sexual abuse and even more difficult for society as a whole to acknowledge that the sexual abuse of children of all ages -- including infants -- happens everyday in the United States. It is no an easy phenomenon to define, primarily because permissible childhood behavior varies in accordance with cultural, family and social tolerances. Sexual abuse, which is 10% of all substantiated cases of child abuse, is defined as the involvement of dependent, developmentally immature children in sexual activities that they do not fully comprehend and therefore to which they are unable to give informed consent and/or which violates the taboos of society.

Sexual abuse is any misuse of a child for sexual pleasure or gratification. It has the potential to interfere with a child's normal, healthy development, both emotionally and physically. Often, sexually victimized children experience severe emotional disturbances from their own feelings of guilt and shame, as well as the feelings which society imposes on them.

At the extreme end of the spectrum, sexual abuse includes sexual intercourse and/or its deviations. These behaviors may be the final acts in a worsening pattern of sexual abuse. For this reason and because of their devastating effects, exhibitionism, fondling and any other sexual contact with children are also considered sexually abusive.

Nontouching sexual abuse offenses include:
쨩 Indecent exposure/exhibitionism
쨩 Exposing children to pornographic material
쨩 Deliberately exposing a child to the act of sexual intercourse
쨩 Masterbation in front of a child

Touching sexual offenses include:
쨩 Fondling
쨩 Making a child touch an adult's sexual organs
쨩 Any penetration of a child's vagina or anus by an object that doesn't have a medical purpose

*         Sexual exploitation  offenses include:
쨩 Engaging a child for the purposes of prostitution
쨩 Using a child to film, photograph or model pornography

 

Decision skills

 

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*         Boundary Breakers

*      If you are from this planet, you have probably heard the word ‘boundaries’ before, probably many times before!  Boundaries are basically what we use to decide who and what we allow into our lives.  It all comes down to what we say ‘yes’ to and what we say ‘no’ to.  Sounds simple doesn’t it?  It gets complicated by the underlying thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and habits that cause us feel that we can’t say no to tasks or people.  Each time you make a choice (and it is a choice) to spend your time on a particular task you are saying ‘no’ to something else. The truth is we are always at choice. 

*      Have you ever heard the saying, "If you don’t decide, someone else will decide for you?" It is the same with your time.  If you don’t decide what is important to you and set your boundaries to allow only those tasks in, someone else will decide how you spend your time because you will be doing things that are not important to you.  This someone could be your cute 4th grader that is not taking homework responsibility, your adoring husband who has just one more thing for you to do, that great cause that needs volunteers to get underway, or a friend who needs your immediate attention with her problem of the week.  It is good to support family, friends, or favorite charities but you also need to be aware that you can’t do it all and you aren’t responsible for everything and everyone.  If you feel guilty about setting boundaries, remember that you are actually giving the gift of growth to someone.  You are giving them an opportunity to stretch and learn a new skill or way of coping.
 
Carl Jung said, "For better to come, good must step aside."  This week, write out all your commitments and priorities.  Divide them into 3 groups labeled Better, Good, and Unimportant.  Eliminate the "Unimportant" items and keep the "Better" items.  Put the "Good" items on probation and look for ways to ease out of them by allowing others to grow or engaging in them in a different, less time consuming way.  Keep this list handy for the next time you are considering taking on a new task and take back your life and time.

*     

 

emotion overflow

 

*       CapitalOne.com/SmallBusiness Some of the most worst happenings human history has witnessed have been the result of overflow of emotions beyond control. People fall prey negative emotions and make the wrong decisions or take adverse actions. Therefore emotions are one of the most important part of human life; rather human emotions apply to all areas of human life. So how to control these so called emotions? Well the very first step towards it is to understand how human emotions work.

*       It's always a reaction- Your emotions are always a result of the reaction to the environment, people or circumstances around you. People come up with negative or positive emotions in reaction to the happenings around them. Therefore it's your reaction to the situation and not what originally happens to you which makes the big difference. So you need to learn how not to react in negative to these circumstances or situations.

*       Think before you react- This is the best way to be in charge of your emotions. Every time you get aroused due to someone or a happening around you think before you take action. You emotions tend to switch your bring off and you can not think right. So the very first step is to think and think twice before you do something under the influence of emotions. Think about the consequences your actions might have on your near future. Learn to analyze the whole situation before you react.

*       Words can never hurt you- People mostly tend to get angry or aroused due to the type of language or words used on them. You must have heard of the saying- "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words would never hurt me". Use this saying whenever you are verbally abused by someone and you feel angry or aroused. Always learn to act smart and not angry.

*       Change in pattern- The best way to overcome wrong emotions is to change your mental pattern and how you react to a specific situation. For example- If you are feeling depressed or down due to a non achievement of a goal or due to any other reason put on a beautiful piece of music. Start dancing or maybe even jumping, yes it does seem stupid but you will see a drastic change in your emotions and you would start feeling happy and the problems would not seem like problems anymore rather challenges.

*       The real secret- There is a secret which would help you attain tremendous success in every aspect of life. This is one of the most shocking truths ever made public. You are one of the few people who are being introduced to this great secret. Read on to discover- The Great Secret

*       Love, Life and Laughter

*       You Can Use Personal Development To Create Miracles, don,t fear to just be your self start Creating Thought Forms of Peace in your mind. After all,Who Is in Charge Here?(you)

*       If You Don't Make Up Your Mind Now,to let your life shine, You'll Hate Yourself Later

*       Cure your Social Anxiety in Six Easy Steps

*       Living Beyond yourself, believe there is a higher power that rules over everything. 

*       Taming Your Inner Critic , be nice to your self, some times we can be our worst enemy, so Convince your Conscious Mind For your Subconscious To accept that you make right decisions, that you are looking at things beyond just your self.

*       In The Face of Fear trust God to help you.In his word he said that he would never fail you

*       Living in the Moment is the way that God wants you to live.So set your mind to have enjoyment , peace and comfort.

*       Have No Fear, God said to cast all your fears on him. I know you have heard this before Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but words will never hurt me, Just don,t accept words that hurt you Making It Up , turn the words in to a joke. Many have been dealt a Bad Deck of Life Cards. So Let's Start Over and start Getting The Most From Life , lets take a short look at Who You Are - Or Who You Once Were? And lets get started in making us the new you In A Matter of Time  you can let God guide you to be the best that you can be.

*     

 

Emotion awareness

 

*       Develop Emotional Awareness

*       Edel Jarboe at Pioneerthinking.com explains that emotional awareness is imperative to learning to control your emotions. She explains that emotional awareness is "knowing which emotions you are feeling and why. It is the ability to see and understand the connection between what you are feeling and how you act on those feelings." This means that you must be honest with your internal conversations for the strongest amount of emotional awareness. Emotional awareness is part of learning to control your emotions because it bridges the divide between how you feel and how you react.

According to Ms. Jarboe, the first step towards emotional awareness is taking personal responsibility for how you feel without basing these on the behaviors and actions of others. This is relative to making "I feel" statements instead of "You make me" statements. In this way, you will be able to recognize your emotional response to people and situations, which creates emotional awareness.

Develop Emotional Coping Skills
It is important to learn how to take control of your emotions through the development of emotional coping skills.

At Mentalhelp.net, the free e-book, Psychological Self-Tools, proves an invaluable resource for developing emotional awareness and coping skills. While it is time consuming to go over the entire book, the outline states that emotional awareness and emotional coping skills have a very simple process:

*       -Pay attention to your emotions
-Make an emotional investment in learning to control your emotions
-Perform emotional self-assessments
-Educate yourself about emotional health
-Talk to others and consider alternative actions
-Decide on a specific plan of action for emotional coping
-Commit to learning to control your emotions and dedicate yourself to an emotional self-help plan

Learning to control your emotions takes patience with yourself. It requires that you understand your feelings and are honest with yourself and those around you. Learning to control your emotions also requires emotional literacy and labeling your emotions without blame or invalidation. This means that you must commit to inner validation of your emotions by recognizing emotional responses and committing to emotional coping skills. The simple steps are merely the beginning of learning to control your emotions, but are a good guideline for developing new emotional coping skills. Remember that everyone feels emotions; it is how the emotions are expressed or denied that is different for each person.

How Do You Deal with Difficult Emotions?
It's natural to experience anger, jealousy, hurt - even though your mother told you that "a frown doesn't suit your pretty face, Dear!" But have you ever felt so overwhelmed by these emotions, or that you spend too much energy getting over them? Everyone could use some healthy options for dealing with difficult emotions. Find out how well you deal with suffering in this

*     A Case of Low Emotional Intelligence

*       Imagine the case of a middle-aged man who is a business owner with a high level of income and an apparently happy home life.

*      If this individual were to have had lowly emotional intelligence, many of the emotional aspects of his life might have been ignored. Although he may look successful on the outside, he may need to contend on a daily basis with the aggravations and frustrations of the fact that his success in life, real though it is, did not extend to dealing with the emotions of those around him, or, for that matter, with his own emotions. This might not matter much to him. and yet it may enter into his life in various ways. For example, because he was not attentive to his own and others' feelings, many of the people around him may be dissatisfied with him, feel that they were treated unfairly, or be angry with him. He, in turn, may not like many of those around him. In other words, he is successful, but his success did not extend into the emotional realm.

*      If if this individual were high in emotional intelligence, he would more likely have attended to the emotional realm both within himself and also as concerned the emotions of those around him. If he were skillful at handling such emotions, he might have surrounded himself with people who he liked much better, and who, in turn, felt better treated by him. To accomplish this may have required some compromises in other areas of his success. Perhaps his business isn't quite as large as it might be in the first case, or perhaps he has had to take on more partners than might ideally have been the case. On the other hand, he and the people around him are happier with one another than they might otherwise be.

*      Emotional intelligence, in this case, contributes to the emotional well-being of both the individual who possesses it, and those around him.

*     What Does This Mean?

*      Put like this, it may seem that functioning without emotional intelligence would be highly problematic. If we step back, however, it is apparent that if you remove any positive capacity or quality from personality, something will be sacrificed. For that reason, it is probably fair to say that emotional intelligence is very important. And, at the same time, so are many other qualities. Since only a very small and fortunate few might have all the positive qualities desirable in personality, the rest of us must make do with what we have, and work with it as effectively as possible.

*      Part of working effectively with what is, involves self-knowledge. And self-knowledge can be enhanced from good psychological assessment, including the use of psychological tests

When Additional Assistance Is Needed

Jesus recognized that 'those who are ill need a physician.' (Mark 2:17) In many cases it is necessary to consult a qualified professional to determine if there is a disorder underlying the habit of self-injury and then to propose treatment. Many will chose to get such help, which complemented the support you CAN received from loving Christian BELIEVERS. "The CHRISTIANS are not doctors, but they CAN BE so supportive, Although the urge to hurt YOURself still comes at times, I you can be successful in controlling it with the help of God , real Christians , and the coping skills you will learned.

Be assured that you can learn to replace this habit with more productive ways of coping. Pray as did the psalmist: "Fix my own steps solidly in your saying, and may no kind of hurtful thing domineer over me." (Psalm 119:133) Surely, you will gain satisfaction and self-respect when you get the mastery over this practice so that it no longer dominates you.

TO THINK ABOUT

  • What are some alternatives to cutting when you feel distressed?
  • In whom could you confide if you have a problem with cutting?

You might practice putting your feelings into words by writing them down at times. The writers of the Bible psalms were men of intense emotion who used words to express their feelings of remorse, anger, frustration, and sadness. As examples, you may wish to review Psalms 6, 13, 42, 55, and 69.

Sometimes self-injury is a side effect of another condition, such as depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or an eating disorder. We do not endorse any particular approach to treatment. Christians should make sure that any treatment they pursue does not conflict with Bible principles.

Never underestimate the value of confiding in a loved one and the importance of prayer

Why not talk to someone about your problem with self-injury? If you feel that you cannot bear a face-to-face discussion, try communicating in a letter or over the internet or the telephone. Confiding can be a positive step toward your recovery. The most important thing was knowing that someone really cared about me, that there was someone I could talk to when things looked bleak.

Did you realize emotional self control makes a difference in your performance, your relationships and your overall happiness? All of us experience moments on the job when unwanted emotions intensify—and that’s normal. Its what you do with them that can lead to problems—at work and at home. This exciting new program will teach you an amazing, systematic process for developing "emotional self-control." You’ll gain a tremendous amount of insight into disruptive emotions and impulses that make you feel out of control and helpless. The tools and strategies you’ll learn to use will improve your performance, earn you greater respect and make your life more fulfilling and enjoyable! If you’d like to reap the rewards emotional self-control can bring to all aspects of your life, you won’t want to Miss reading all the pages of this web site.

Welcome to emotions control, we are people helping people, we invite you to join our group (it’s free)

 

Leaning On The Everlasting Arms (11KB)

Our group meets every week at the Christian Outreach Center at 1525 Poplar St. Portsmouth. If you can't make it, get involved with us connected with email. christianoutreachcenter@hotmail.com Believe me if you have troubles, help is on the way.

If you have any feedback that you would like to share, we have room on our web group site to pass it on to others. We are people helping people. If you stick with us you will find that your actions helps a lot of other people. And also gives you more help than you can believe. In the world to soon come we will need each others help.

INTRODUCTION

Emotions are those feelings that virtually everyone has, but yet few understand.  We'll focus on how emotions play a key role in the transformation of a person's life.       

The function of the cortex is to rationalize and to problem solve.  In a functional person, the cortex can control emotions if the emotions pass the threshold of consciousness into the realm of the conscious.  Many times, though, emotions will operate on a subconscious level and we will only be consciously aware of them by extreme situations that force us out of the habitual operation of the pons; or if we are in a state of consciousness or awareness that can override the cortex.  "During sleep, syncope, coma, psychotic episodes, and hypnotic trances, portions of the cerebral cortex can be made dormant, thus allowing the reptilian brain to become the predominant computer.

The way that we process visual, auditory and tactile experiences is the sensory input is relayed through the thalamus before it reaches the cortex.

This information is then sent to the cortical area specific for each sensory organ, where it is analyzed and connected with corresponding information from the other hemisphere of the cortex.  Once processed, that information is sent to the sensory areas, where it is integrated and interpreted.  Once there, these perceptions are modulated on the affective and emotional level by projections to the limbic cortex.

A primary function of emotions in the cortex helps us organize, store, and access information in the brain.

Recalled memory will be reconstructed using the brain preference for order and stability.  The memory will have a certain order to it and will generally be re-told in a way that subjectively makes sense to the individual.  Analogous to a computer hard drive, we retrieve the memory chunk of information, by accessing a particular emotional “directory” in a certain part of the brain.  Then the memory chunk is connected to one or several information chunks and the brain makes up the most logical story to connect the separate information chunks.  This means that the information is integrated into an existing subjective framework of reality. 

A Key to Controlling Emotions

One key to controlling your emotions is learning to control your thoughts. Negative thoughts can sap you of the energy you need to take action. (Proverbs 24:10) But how can you learn to think positively and thus be helped to control your emotions?

One way is to refuse to dwell on negative things that make you feel depressed or insecure. By following the Bible advice to focus on things that are "serious" and "righteous," you can replace negative thoughts with positive ones. (Philippians 4:8) Doing this may not be easy, but with effort it can be done.

Consider a young woman named Jasmine. "I feel so overwhelmed by all that I’m faced with," she once lamented. "New job, new responsibilities. My emotions are spent. I find it difficult to breathe." It is not surprising for a youth to feel that way on occasion, and it can cause one to feel insecure, unsure of oneself. The Bible tells us about a young man named Timothy, who was superbly qualified for the responsibilities he was given. Yet, it appears that he battled feelings of inadequacy.—1 Timothy 4:11-16; 2 Timothy 1:6, 7.

It may well be that you feel insecure when you are confronted with a new or unfamiliar task. ‘I’ll never be able to do this,’ you may tell yourself. But you can control such feelings of insecurity by refusing to dwell on negative thoughts. Focus on learning to do the task competently. Ask questions, and follow instructions.—Proverbs 1:5, 7.

One key to controlling your emotions is learning to control your thoughts

The more competent you become at a task, the less insecure you will feel. Do not dwell on your weaknesses, allowing them to paralyze you and prevent you from applying yourself to making improvement. One time when the apostle Paul was criticized, he replied: "Even if I am unskilled in speech, I certainly am not in knowledge." (2 Corinthians 10:10; 11:6) Similarly, you can build your confidence by acknowledging your strengths and turning to God for help to cope with your weaknesses. God really can help you, as he did people in the past.—Exodus 4:10.

Another way you can help to control your emotions is to set modest, realistic goals and accept your limitations. Also avoid unfairly comparing yourself with others. At Galatians 6:4, the Bible gives good advice when it says: "Let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person."

Other steps.

A popular exercise book says: "Countless studies have proven that how you move your body influences your mood through your biochemistry. Hormone and oxygen levels all change with the kind of movements you make." There is no question about it, physical exercise is beneficial. The Bible tells us: "Physical exercise has some value." (1 Timothy 4:8, Today’s English Version) Why not establish a modest routine of regular exercise? It can have a good effect on the way you feel. Maintaining a healthful diet can likewise bring benefits.

Consider, too, your choices of music and entertainment. A study published in The Harvard Mental Health Letter said: "Viewing violence . . . tends to stir angry and aggressive feelings. . . . People watching violent films thought more aggressive thoughts and showed a rise in blood pressure." So make wise decisions when it comes to what you listen to and watch.—Psalm 1:1-3; 1 Corinthians 15:33.

Ultimately, the best way to learn to control your emotions is to develop a close friendship with your Creator. He invites each of us to speak to him in prayer, to pour out our feelings and emotions. "Do not be anxious over anything," encouraged the apostle Paul. "Let your petitions be made known to God; and the peace of God that excels all thought will guard your hearts and your mental powers." Yes, you can develop the inner strength to face any situation in life. The apostle Paul added: "For all things I have the strength by virtue of him who imparts power to me."—Philippians 4:6, 7, 13.

 

Expectations

 

Releasing Your Expectations

As we endeavor to find personal fulfillment and realize our individual ideals, we naturally form emotional attachments to those outcomes we hope will come to pass. These expectations can serve as a source of stability, allowing us to draft plans based on our visions of the future, but they can also limit our potential for happiness by blinding us to equally satisfying yet unexpected outcomes. Instead of taking pleasure in the surprising circumstances unfolding around us, we mourn for the anticipation left unfulfilled. When we think of letting go of our expectations, we may find ourselves at the mercy of a small inner voice that admonishes us to strive for specific goals, even if they continually elude us. However, the opposite of expectation is not pessimism. We can retain our optimism and free ourselves from the need to focus on specific probabilities by opening our hearts and minds to a wide variety of possible outcomes.

 

Emotions

 

What Are Emotions – Feelings?

Different people define emotions in different ways. Some make a distinction between emotions and feelings saying that a feeling is the response part of the emotion and that an emotion includes the situation or experience, the interpretation, the perception, and the response or feeling related to the experience of a particular situation. For the purposes of this article, I use the terms interchangeably.

John D. (Jack) Mayer says, "Emotions operate on many levels. They have a physical aspect as well as a psychological aspect. Emotions bridge thought, feeling, and action – they operate in every part of a person, they affect many aspects of a person, and the person affects many aspects of the emotions."

Dr. Maurice Elias says, "Emotions are human beings’ warning systems as to what is really going on around them. Emotions are our most reliable indicators of how things are going on in our lives. Emotions help keep us on the right track by making sure that we are led by more than the mental/ intellectual faculties of thought, perception, reason, memory

Slowing Down Anger

Managing anger can be another difficult challenge. Anger prompts many young ones to say and do things that are hurtful or destructive.

Granted, it is normal to feel anger at times. But remember the first murderer, Cain. When he became "hot with great anger," God warned him that such anger could lead to his committing serious sin. He asked Cain: "Will you, for your part, get the mastery over [sin]?" (Genesis 4:5-7) Cain failed to heed this divine advice, but with God’s help you can control your anger and avoid sinning!

Again it comes down to controlling your thoughts. At Proverbs 19:11, the Bible says: "The insight of a man certainly slows down his anger, and it is beauty on his part to pass over transgression." When someone upsets you, try to understand why he or she behaved that way. Was that person deliberately trying to hurt you? Could it be that he or she was acting impulsively or out of ignorance? Making allowances for the mistakes of others reflects God’s own mercy, and it can help slow down your feelings of anger.

What, though, if anger is justified? The Scriptures say: "Be wrathful, and yet do not sin." (Ephesians 4:26) If necessary, talk the matter out with the individual. (Matthew 5:23, 24) Or perhaps the best thing to do is simply to let the matter drop—let go of the anger and move on with your life.

Interestingly, your friends can have an influence on how you deal with anger. The Bible thus directs: "Do not have companionship with anyone given to anger; and with a man having fits of rage you must not enter in, that you may not get familiar with his paths and certainly take a snare for your soul."—Proverbs 22:24, 25.

Being around people who make an effort to control their anger can help you to develop self-control yourself. The Christian congregations are full of such mature individuals, many of whom are older and more experienced than you. Get to know some of them. Watch how they cope with problems. They may also be able to give you "skillful direction" when you face difficulties. (Proverbs 24:6) Jacob, quoted earlier, relates: "A mature friend who can remind me of God’s Word is priceless. When I remember that God loves me despite my insecurities, I’m able to feel in control and remain calm."

A Challenge for Youths

People of all ages and backgrounds struggle with controlling their emotions. However, the struggle can be particularly challenging during one’s transition from adolescence to adulthood. Says the book Changing Bodies, Changing Lives by Ruth Bell: "Most teenagers feel a jumble of crazy, beautiful, frightening, mixed-up emotions. A lot of people have several different feelings at the same time about the same things. . . . One minute you may feel a particular way, and then a minute later you may find yourself feeling the opposite way."

As a young person, you are also inexperienced. (Proverbs 1:4) So, as you encounter new situations and challenges for the first time, it is only natural to feel a bit insecure and perhaps overwhelmed. Fortunately, your Creator well understands your feelings. He knows even your "disquieting thoughts." (Psalm 139:23) In his Word he has set forth some principles that can help.

 

inproving

 

 

Overview of Improving Emotional Knowledge and Social Effectiveness

If emotional intelligence is an important emotional ability, can it be raised? Perhaps the smarter question is, “is it possible to learn about emotions, and if so, will it promote a better life?”

One of the key issues in this area is, first, to distinguish the scientific research from any journalistic accounts you may be familiar with. Unfortunately, such accounts initially greatly exaggerated the role of emotional intelligence in success in life. More recently, most journalists have acknowledged and clarified that such claims were in error or were due to misunderstandings.

Discussion about EI's significance can be found in some parts of the "Controversies" section of the site.

It is fair to ask, however, about raising emotional knowledge. This section outlines some of the differences between the scientific research and journalistic accounts, and provides a beginning examination of the issue of learning about emotions. To learn more, click on the associated topics (the narrative will appear beneath the menu).

 


 

physical abuse

 

What is physical abuse?

Physical abuse, which is 19% of all substantiated cases of child abuse, is the most visible form of abuse and may be defined as any act which results in a non-accidental trauma or physical injury. Inflicted physical injury most often represents unreasonable, severe corporal punishment or unjustifiable punishment. This usually happens when a frustrated or angry parent strikes, shakes or throws a child. Physical abuse injuries result from punching, beating, kicking, biting, burning or otherwise harming a child. While any of these injuries can occur accidentally when a child is at play, physical abuse should be suspected if the explanations do not fit the injury or if a pattern of frequency is apparent. The longer the abuse continues, the more serious the injuries to the child and the more difficult it is to eliminate the abusive behavior.

What is child neglect?

Child neglect, which is 63% of all substantiated cases of child abuse,   is the most common form of child maltreatment reported to child protective services. It is defined as a "type of maltreatment that refers to the failure to provide needed age-appropriate care," such as shelter, food, clothing, education, supervision, medical care and other basic necessities needed for development of physical, intellectual and emotional capacities. Unlike physical and sexual abuse, neglect is usually typified by an ongoing pattern of inadequate care and is readily observed by individuals in close contact with the child. Physicians, nurses, day care personnel, relatives and neighbors are frequently the ones to suspect and report neglected infants, toddlers and preschool children.

The types of neglect:

Physical neglect -- accounts for the majority of cases of maltreatment. The definition includes the refusal of or extreme delay in seeking necessary health care, child abandonment, inadequate supervision, rejection of a child leading to expulsion from the home, and failing to adequately provide for the child's safety and physical and emotional needs. Physical neglect can severely impact a child's development by causing failure to thrive, malnutrition; serious illnesses; physical harm in the form of cuts, bruises and burns due to lack of supervision and a lifetime of low self-esteem.

Educational neglect -- occurs when a child is allowed to engage in chronic truancy, is of mandatory school age but not enrolled in school or receiving needed special educational training. Educational neglect can lead to underachievement in acquiring necessary basic skills, dropping out of school and/or continually disruptive behavior.

Emotional neglect -- includes such actions as chronic or extreme spousal abuse in the child's presence, allowing a child to use drugs or alcohol, refusal or failure to provide needed psychological care, constant belittling and withholding of affection. This pattern of behavior can lead to poor self-image, alcohol or drug abuse, destructive behavior and even suicide. Severe neglect of infants can result in the infant failing to grow and thrive and may even lead to infant death.

Medical neglect -- is the failure to provide appropriate health care for a child although financially able to do so. In some cases, a parent or caretaker will withhold traditional medical care during the practice of religious beliefs. These cases generally do not fall under the definition of medical neglect, however, some states will obtain a court order forcing medical treatment of a child in order to save a child's life or prevent life-threatening injury resulting from the lack of treatment. Medical neglect can result in poor overall health and compounded medical problems.

What is sexual abuse?

It is very difficult for most people to talk about sexual abuse and even more difficult for society as a whole to acknowledge that the sexual abuse of children of all ages -- including infants -- happens everyday in the United States. It is no an easy phenomenon to define, primarily because permissible childhood behavior varies in accordance with cultural, family and social tolerances. Sexual abuse, which is 10% of all substantiated cases of child abuse, is defined as the involvement of dependent, developmentally immature children in sexual activities that they do not fully comprehend and therefore to which they are unable to give informed consent and/or which violates the taboos of society.

Sexual abuse is any misuse of a child for sexual pleasure or gratification. It has the potential to interfere with a child's normal, healthy development, both emotionally and physically. Often, sexually victimized children experience severe emotional disturbances from their own feelings of guilt and shame, as well as the feelings which society imposes on them.

At the extreme end of the spectrum, sexual abuse includes sexual intercourse and/or its deviations. These behaviors may be the final acts in a worsening pattern of sexual abuse. For this reason and because of their devastating effects, exhibitionism, fondling and any other sexual contact with children are also considered sexually abusive.

Nontouching sexual abuse offenses include:
쨩 Indecent exposure/exhibitionism
쨩 Exposing children to pornographic material
쨩 Deliberately exposing a child to the act of sexual intercourse
쨩 Masterbation in front of a child

Touching sexual offenses include:
쨩 Fondling
쨩 Making a child touch an adult's sexual organs
쨩 Any penetration of a child's vagina or anus by an object that doesn't have a medical purpose

*         Sexual exploitation  offenses include:
쨩 Engaging a child for the purposes of prostitution
쨩 Using a child to film, photograph or model pornography

 

Decision skills

 

*      Decision Making Skills  decision maps help improve decision making

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*         Boundary Breakers

*      If you are from this planet, you have probably heard the word ‘boundaries’ before, probably many times before!  Boundaries are basically what we use to decide who and what we allow into our lives.  It all comes down to what we say ‘yes’ to and what we say ‘no’ to.  Sounds simple doesn’t it?  It gets complicated by the underlying thoughts, emotions, beliefs, and habits that cause us feel that we can’t say no to tasks or people.  Each time you make a choice (and it is a choice) to spend your time on a particular task you are saying ‘no’ to something else. The truth is we are always at choice. 

*      Have you ever heard the saying, "If you don’t decide, someone else will decide for you?" It is the same with your time.  If you don’t decide what is important to you and set your boundaries to allow only those tasks in, someone else will decide how you spend your time because you will be doing things that are not important to you.  This someone could be your cute 4th grader that is not taking homework responsibility, your adoring husband who has just one more thing for you to do, that great cause that needs volunteers to get underway, or a friend who needs your immediate attention with her problem of the week.  It is good to support family, friends, or favorite charities but you also need to be aware that you can’t do it all and you aren’t responsible for everything and everyone.  If you feel guilty about setting boundaries, remember that you are actually giving the gift of growth to someone.  You are giving them an opportunity to stretch and learn a new skill or way of coping.
 
Carl Jung said, "For better to come, good must step aside."  This week, write out all your commitments and priorities.  Divide them into 3 groups labeled Better, Good, and Unimportant.  Eliminate the "Unimportant" items and keep the "Better" items.  Put the "Good" items on probation and look for ways to ease out of them by allowing others to grow or engaging in them in a different, less time consuming way.  Keep this list handy for the next time you are considering taking on a new task and take back your life and time.

*     

 

emotion overflow

 

*       CapitalOne.com/SmallBusiness Some of the most worst happenings human history has witnessed have been the result of overflow of emotions beyond control. People fall prey negative emotions and make the wrong decisions or take adverse actions. Therefore emotions are one of the most important part of human life; rather human emotions apply to all areas of human life. So how to control these so called emotions? Well the very first step towards it is to understand how human emotions work.

*       It's always a reaction- Your emotions are always a result of the reaction to the environment, people or circumstances around you. People come up with negative or positive emotions in reaction to the happenings around them. Therefore it's your reaction to the situation and not what originally happens to you which makes the big difference. So you need to learn how not to react in negative to these circumstances or situations.

*       Think before you react- This is the best way to be in charge of your emotions. Every time you get aroused due to someone or a happening around you think before you take action. You emotions tend to switch your bring off and you can not think right. So the very first step is to think and think twice before you do something under the influence of emotions. Think about the consequences your actions might have on your near future. Learn to analyze the whole situation before you react.

*       Words can never hurt you- People mostly tend to get angry or aroused due to the type of language or words used on them. You must have heard of the saying- "Sticks and stones will break my bones but words would never hurt me". Use this saying whenever you are verbally abused by someone and you feel angry or aroused. Always learn to act smart and not angry.

*       Change in pattern- The best way to overcome wrong emotions is to change your mental pattern and how you react to a specific situation. For example- If you are feeling depressed or down due to a non achievement of a goal or due to any other reason put on a beautiful piece of music. Start dancing or maybe even jumping, yes it does seem stupid but you will see a drastic change in your emotions and you would start feeling happy and the problems would not seem like problems anymore rather challenges.

*       The real secret- There is a secret which would help you attain tremendous success in every aspect of life. This is one of the most shocking truths ever made public. You are one of the few people who are being introduced to this great secret. Read on to discover- The Great Secret

*       Love, Life and Laughter

*       You Can Use Personal Development To Create Miracles, don,t fear to just be your self start Creating Thought Forms of Peace in your mind. After all,Who Is in Charge Here?(you)

*       If You Don't Make Up Your Mind Now,to let your life shine, You'll Hate Yourself Later

*       Cure your Social Anxiety in Six Easy Steps

*       Living Beyond yourself, believe there is a higher power that rules over everything. 

*       Taming Your Inner Critic , be nice to your self, some times we can be our worst enemy, so Convince your Conscious Mind For your Subconscious To accept that you make right decisions, that you are looking at things beyond just your self.

*       In The Face of Fear trust God to help you.In his word he said that he would never fail you

*       Living in the Moment is the way that God wants you to live.So set your mind to have enjoyment , peace and comfort.

*       Have No Fear, God said to cast all your fears on him. I know you have heard this before Sticks and Stones May Break My Bones but words will never hurt me, Just don,t accept words that hurt you Making It Up , turn the words in to a joke. Many have been dealt a Bad Deck of Life Cards. So Let's Start Over and start Getting The Most From Life , lets take a short look at Who You Are - Or Who You Once Were? And lets get started in making us the new you In A Matter of Time  you can let God guide you to be the best that you can be.

*     

 

Emotion awareness

 

*       Develop Emotional Awareness

*       Edel Jarboe at Pioneerthinking.com explains that emotional awareness is imperative to learning to control your emotions. She explains that emotional awareness is "knowing which emotions you are feeling and why. It is the ability to see and understand the connection between what you are feeling and how you act on those feelings." This means that you must be honest with your internal conversations for the strongest amount of emotional awareness. Emotional awareness is part of learning to control your emotions because it bridges the divide between how you feel and how you react.

According to Ms. Jarboe, the first step towards emotional awareness is taking personal responsibility for how you feel without basing these on the behaviors and actions of others. This is relative to making "I feel" statements instead of "You make me" statements. In this way, you will be able to recognize your emotional response to people and situations, which creates emotional awareness.

Develop Emotional Coping Skills
It is important to learn how to take control of your emotions through the development of emotional coping skills.

At Mentalhelp.net, the free e-book, Psychological Self-Tools, proves an invaluable resource for developing emotional awareness and coping skills. While it is time consuming to go over the entire book, the outline states that emotional awareness and emotional coping skills have a very simple process:

*       -Pay attention to your emotions
-Make an emotional investment in learning to control your emotions
-Perform emotional self-assessments
-Educate yourself about emotional health
-Talk to others and consider alternative actions
-Decide on a specific plan of action for emotional coping
-Commit to learning to control your emotions and dedicate yourself to an emotional self-help plan

Learning to control your emotions takes patience with yourself. It requires that you understand your feelings and are honest with yourself and those around you. Learning to control your emotions also requires emotional literacy and labeling your emotions without blame or invalidation. This means that you must commit to inner validation of your emotions by recognizing emotional responses and committing to emotional coping skills. The simple steps are merely the beginning of learning to control your emotions, but are a good guideline for developing new emotional coping skills. Remember that everyone feels emotions; it is how the emotions are expressed or denied that is different for each person.

How Do You Deal with Difficult Emotions?
It's natural to experience anger, jealousy, hurt - even though your mother told you that "a frown doesn't suit your pretty face, Dear!" But have you ever felt so overwhelmed by these emotions, or that you spend too much energy getting over them? Everyone could use some healthy options for dealing with difficult emotions. Find out how well you deal with suffering in this

*     A Case of Low Emotional Intelligence

*       Imagine the case of a middle-aged man who is a business owner with a high level of income and an apparently happy home life.

*      If this individual were to have had lowly emotional intelligence, many of the emotional aspects of his life might have been ignored. Although he may look successful on the outside, he may need to contend on a daily basis with the aggravations and frustrations of the fact that his success in life, real though it is, did not extend to dealing with the emotions of those around him, or, for that matter, with his own emotions. This might not matter much to him. and yet it may enter into his life in various ways. For example, because he was not attentive to his own and others' feelings, many of the people around him may be dissatisfied with him, feel that they were treated unfairly, or be angry with him. He, in turn, may not like many of those around him. In other words, he is successful, but his success did not extend into the emotional realm.

*      If if this individual were high in emotional intelligence, he would more likely have attended to the emotional realm both within himself and also as concerned the emotions of those around him. If he were skillful at handling such emotions, he might have surrounded himself with people who he liked much better, and who, in turn, felt better treated by him. To accomplish this may have required some compromises in other areas of his success. Perhaps his business isn't quite as large as it might be in the first case, or perhaps he has had to take on more partners than might ideally have been the case. On the other hand, he and the people around him are happier with one another than they might otherwise be.

*      Emotional intelligence, in this case, contributes to the emotional well-being of both the individual who possesses it, and those around him.

*     What Does This Mean?

*      Put like this, it may seem that functioning without emotional intelligence would be highly problematic. If we step back, however, it is apparent that if you remove any positive capacity or quality from personality, something will be sacrificed. For that reason, it is probably fair to say that emotional intelligence is very important. And, at the same time, so are many other qualities. Since only a very small and fortunate few might have all the positive qualities desirable in personality, the rest of us must make do with what we have, and work with it as effectively as possible.

*      Part of working effectively with what is, involves self-knowledge. And self-knowledge can be enhanced from good psychological assessment, including the use of psychological tests

When Additional Assistance Is Needed

Jesus recognized that 'those who are ill need a physician.' (Mark 2:17) In many cases it is necessary to consult a qualified professional to determine if there is a disorder underlying the habit of self-injury and then to propose treatment. Many will chose to get such help, which complemented the support you CAN received from loving Christian BELIEVERS. "The CHRISTIANS are not doctors, but they CAN BE so supportive, Although the urge to hurt YOURself still comes at times, I you can be successful in controlling it with the help of God , real Christians , and the coping skills you will learned.

Be assured that you can learn to replace this habit with more productive ways of coping. Pray as did the psalmist: "Fix my own steps solidly in your saying, and may no kind of hurtful thing domineer over me." (Psalm 119:133) Surely, you will gain satisfaction and self-respect when you get the mastery over this practice so that it no longer dominates you.

TO THINK ABOUT

  • What are some alternatives to cutting when you feel distressed?
  • In whom could you confide if you have a problem with cutting?

You might practice putting your feelings into words by writing them down at times. The writers of the Bible psalms were men of intense emotion who used words to express their feelings of remorse, anger, frustration, and sadness. As examples, you may wish to review Psalms 6, 13, 42, 55, and 69.

Sometimes self-injury is a side effect of another condition, such as depression, bipolar disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, or an eating disorder. We do not endorse any particular approach to treatment. Christians should make sure that any treatment they pursue does not conflict with Bible principles.

Never underestimate the value of confiding in a loved one and the importance of prayer

Why not talk to someone about your problem with self-injury? If you feel that you cannot bear a face-to-face discussion, try communicating in a letter or over the internet or the telephone. Confiding can be a positive step toward your recovery. The most important thing was knowing that someone really cared about me, that there was someone I could talk to when things looked bleak.

Did you realize emotional self control makes a difference in your performance, your relationships and your overall happiness? All of us experience moments on the job when unwanted emotions intensify—and that’s normal. Its what you do with them that can lead to problems—at work and at home. This exciting new program will teach you an amazing, systematic process for developing "emotional self-control." You’ll gain a tremendous amount of insight into disruptive emotions and impulses that make you feel out of control and helpless. The tools and strategies you’ll learn to use will improve your performance, earn you greater respect and make your life more fulfilling and enjoyable! If you’d like to reap the rewards emotional self-control can bring to all aspects of your life,